Sunday, November 21, 2010

NORTH KOREAN CENTRIFUGES

According to sources familiar with the matter, “an unnamed American academic who has now been named publicly, because he spoke out–a Mr. Hecker—has visited a North Korean nuclear site and found 'a surprising number of modern uranium enrichment centrifuges. What I expected was not what I found; likewise what I found was not what I expected. I was pretty sure what to expect.'” When contacted by the BBC, Mr. Hecker could not be reached for comment. Messages were left at both his residence and his office, and likewise two letters were not responded to, despite their being sent Royal Mail “Signature Required” AirSure™ with 2.85GBP added for Assured Delivery Confirmation™.  According to sources familiar with the Royal Mail AirSure™ and Assured Delivery Confirmation Service ™, this is surprising, as the Royal Mail service handles these requests all the time and is actually quite proficient in the handling of all types of envelopes and boxes, large and small. According to sources familiar with the matter, any size box can really be sent anywhere in the world with a delivery confirmation. The BBC did indeed obtain such delivery confirmation, but at this time has still not received a response from Mr. Hecker as of the publishing date of this article. Most probably, according to sources familiar with the matter, he did not use Royal Mail AirSure ™ to write back to us, and as a result the BBC has still not received his response. “These centrifuges looked modern,” stated Mr. Hecker in his statement. “They were shiny. I believe they were trying to send a message. A message to me personally, of course, but also to the West in general. I believe that their message was that they have modern uranium enrichment equipment. When I asked if they were trying to send a message to the West that they had modern uranium enrichment equipment, they said the West can think whatever it wants about their modern uranium enrichment equipment. But I don't believe them. I think there was a message in there somewhere.” According to sources familiar with the matter, the most likely message was that they wanted food to feed their starving people and fuel to fuel their working power plants and machines, as their centrifuges, while surprisingly shiny, have still not added up to a full-fledged working nuclear powered electric plant. President Obama released a statement himself, stating in that statement that “he will not give oil to prevent a nuclear bomb from being made unless North Korea first commits to not building a nuclear bomb. Neither will I give food, such as wheat or rice.” According to sources familiar with the matter, this has been America's policy for the last twenty years. It is unclear whether North Korea knows about this policy or not, according to sources familiar with the matter. As of this date it is not possible to send a letter requesting further details to North Korea using Royal Mail “Signature Required” AirSure™ with 2.85GBP added for Assured Delivery Confirmation™, and so we could not obtain confirmation from the North Koreans about anything.


4 comments:

  1. You know I find it strange how the world operates. I think that it just isn't right that a country should feel the necessity to show the desire to build nuclear weaponry, in order to ask for help. The fact that North Korea feels this way makes me a little disappointed with my world. I dream of a world where they just ask and we being so rich in resources help them without any form of debt making. Ha I dream of a utopia too much.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @wikileaks: The coming months will see a new world, where global history is redefined.

    (twitter.com/wikileaks#)

    ReplyDelete
  3. yeah yeah, end of times. blah blah war crimes. more like "yes! we finally got an article in The Guardian! SCORE!!!"

    Lee, you should look up and read about the Agreed Framework and such with NK and the 6 party talks. It's such a mess it's ridiculous. People on all sides (Japan, South Korea, U.S.), for lots of reasons, giving money, taking away money, offering to build nuke reactors for NK (the kind that can't be used for bombs), then taking away funding for those same reactors because of political reasons. It's a complete mess. And still is.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You know I take it back, Dane. Those diplomatic cables are genius. Global history, or at least the study of history! will definitely be redefined... Don't have to wait 30 years to see what your country is up to anymore :)

    ReplyDelete